i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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