3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
