margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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