are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
