If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
