it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
