Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
