Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
