just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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