its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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