So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
