I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
