Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
