she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
