need another drink. this is the easiest way
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
