I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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