should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Mom said you looked used
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize