My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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