I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
