Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
