I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
