Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
