So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
