if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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