I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
