Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
