Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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