hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
