Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it because I queefed?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
