his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
