every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
