I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
