Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
