the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
