Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have surprise drugs for everyone
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
