New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Randomize
