this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
