Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
