Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
