FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
