The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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