Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
