$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
