Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just pee around me
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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