My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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