so explain again why im purple
no
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Two words: blizzard sex
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
