i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
