there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
