i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
