hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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