he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
