Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
