don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
