Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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