i was born a porn star she said
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
