either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
